New Nervous Habit

I'm growing a beard. Growing a beard is excellent, however it has created a new nervous tick for me- I have started licking the hair of my mustache right at the corner of my mouth. I can't stop it.

I seriously just did it. I hope this goes away when my mustache is huge. Otherwise, I'm shaving this bitch.

My parents are awesome.

On the subject of blogging-

I've been reading a fantastic blog by a guy named Christian, called "Stuff White People Like". It's the funniest satirical blog I've read, probably ever. He also has a book. Which I promised myself (and told him) I would buy.  So.

 

I think it will make a stunning addition to the small library above my toilet. Seriously. There's a small library up there. I do my best thinking on the toilet. 

LOOK WHAT I DISCOVERED! DELICIOUS BEER DRINK!!!

This is truly fantastic. Leinenkugel's calls it a "Sunny Bear"- mixing one half a Sunset Wheat with one half Berry Weiss. The best part is that you have to drink two of them to use up the beer you opened. Possibly the first time math has actually been helpful to me. 

Stress

I feel like I've been a sucker for people in need my whole life. I'm beginning to think it makes me weak. I once ended up spending a ridiculous amount of money trying to help somebody who was really just a drug addicted leech. And then I just said, "I never want to hear from you again!" and it was so. I don't feel bad for it. I really don't. I hope I never see that guy again in my entire life, because it reminds me of how stupid I was. He just took advantage of me. I thought I was helping someone, but they were just lying. Now I don't give money to people.

Instead, I have someone living on my couch.

Having someone living on your couch is stressful. Very stressful.

You don't have access to your living room. You can't walk around your house naked. Your wife is mad at you. It's basically a huge pain in the ass.

I haven't lived with a roomate for almost 3 years and that feels good. Now I have a man living in my living room by my own decision. He needs help. Does it have to be my help? Probably not. But I'm the one giving it. I could kick him out, but I don't really have a good reason. Other than him being messy and I want to sit on my sofa naked and watch television.

Possibly God is teaching me some lesson about selfishness or patience or suffering or something.

But now my wife wants him gone. That makes it difficult, because now she's mad at me that I'm not giving him the ultimatum. Laying down the law. And I'm trying to play the middle, because I love her and want to please her, but I've committed to myself that I'm going to see this through.

And all the while I'm trying to convince her of something I have trouble swallowing myself- that being selfless for just a little while longer, until he leaves town next week, will be hard, but the right thing to do. I don't want to do that! I want it over!

But then He tells me:
"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay." Heb 10:36-37


Help me persevere.

Green Porno

One of the greatest things ever. It's like porno. But with bugs. And it's charming instead of filthy and repulsive.


Check it out.

Manahmanah

Attention

So I've decided. I need attention.

Not all the time, just sometimes. In fact, sometimes I hate attention. I'm typically very uncomfortable with praise. I don't really enjoy being recognized in public. Increasingly, I'm less and less drawn to people in general.

I believe there's something in every human that longs to be chased after- the unfortunate side-effect of that is that you must run away to be chased. After running and running and hoping that somebody is chasing me, I often find that I'm alone, in the middle of nowhere. My would be pursuers looked at my full sprint in to the woods and said, "That guy does NOT want to be caught. I'll just wait here." Or perhaps they start running into the forest too, not to chase me, but because they want to be chased as well.

So then I end up running into a bunch of crazy, narcissistic spriniters in a forest. And I'm forced to walk back out into the open, head hung low because the game of hide and go seek ended 45 minutes ago and everyone decided I was too hard to find and went inside to eat ice cream instead.

So now what? I'm the fastest sprinter and the best hider in the game, but it doesn't matter, because nobody had the energy to seek me out. So instead of being championed for my speed, cunning and prowess, I'm left crying inside the bottom of a dead tree because nobody could find me and because they ran out of vanilla ice cream while I was sitting in my arrogant fantasy that soon, someone would scream, "Here he is! I found him!" and I would finally, thankfully, willingly lose this lifelong game of hide and seek.

Somebody find me.