Pirates!

I'm bonkers about this band I just found.



They're called "Pete and the Pirates" and I think they're the Bees Knees. Bob's Your Uncle. The #1 prize lobster festival. Whatever. They're super and from the British Isles.

Which reminds me:

Why can't I buy UK music online from UK suppliers? It seems really idiotic to me that I can log on to the UK iTunes music store, but I can't buy from it because I don't have a UK billing address.

SELL ME YOUR MUSIC, ENGLAND! DAMN IT!

Mawaige

I constantly wonder why people are offering condolences to me instead of congratulations. I'm getting married, and it's the most thrilling, wonderful thing I can think of- yet somehow, people all around me think it's the end of my life.

When did marriage get so screwed up? When did it start being the end of your life? When did it mean "giving up your dreams and freedom" and wearing a ball and chain? I mean really, I thought that didn't happen until you had kids.

But seriously! What's wrong with men these days?

Dudes! If you really think all that shit, don't get married! You shouldn't be getting hitched to somebody who's trying to cut your balls off anyway, if that's really what she's trying to do. However, don't press your bitterness toward matrimony off on me. I'm not having it.

Still, it's not hard to see what the problem is. When we stop giving and start thinking about what we're getting out of our relationships, instead of what we're giving, we start being dissatisfied, and thinking that our significant other is somehow "depriving" us of the love and joy that we used to have. And maybe they are, because they don't feel loved anymore. So they start caring about themselves, and using your "devotion" as a weapon to punish you for the love you're not giving them any longer.

Until it falls apart.

Selfishness is human nature, and two can never become one flesh if they indulge that nature. Only when we can deny our self and become something new do we have the true ability to sacrifice and love. Consider this:

That, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
-Ephesians 4:22-24


If God is love, we move closer to loving like He loves us when we are renewed in His Spirit.

Shorter

I think I need to write shorter blogs.

Taco Sighting

I have been shown something incredible today. Bobby Henderson, the Orson Welles of taco photography, has created a fitting tribute to our beloved food.

You can check out his work at his website, Henderob.com It is quite incredible. Inspiring, to say the least. And it makes me hungry to boot.

Thanks to Paul for the tip.

You can't say that in church.

Disclaimer: This blog contains profanity. If that offends you, keep reading. I wrote it for you.

I'll be honest. I like to swear. I think it's a hoot. The very fact that certain words in our vernacular are somehow more "taboo" than others constantly bemuses me, and using those words at the appropriate (and sometimes inappropriate) times gives me a kick.

And why shouldn't it? Is there really anything special about 4 or 5 letters arranged in a special order?

No, but it would be naive for me to say that words have no meaning, or that what we say has no effect on other people. At critical junctures in history, a single word has meant the difference between success and failure, order or chaos, even life and death. The difference isn't the words we say, but the intention behind them. The spirit of the language is what hurts and heals and bonds and breaks. Which brings me to my point:

Can I say the word "shit" in church?

I once made an announcement video for my church, (as I often do) and at one point in an announcement I said,
"Somebody's gonna be in deep doo-doo."

After the video aired, our pastor's wife (who is an awesome woman, don't get me wrong here) came up and said, "I like the video. But you can't say that word in church."
"Which one," I replied, "Doo-doo?"(I had been forewarned that she was ticked.)
She grimaced and nodded. "Yeah. That's the one."
I just raised my hands and gave an embarassed smile as she sighed, shook her head and walked away.

I was flabbergasted. It was never my intention to offend anyone- quite the contrary. I consciously chose "doo-doo", thinking it would be a better alternative than, "Somebody's gonna be in some deep dog shit over this one!" (Which, to note, I don't think is wrong. It might have caused some unpleasant ripples in the congregation, though.) But seriously, it was as if using fecal matter as a quantifying measure for trouble was some anathema towards Christendom! Have people become so petrified of words that their meaning and character has become secondary? It's just a rude word for feces, folks.


How's that for doo-doo kid?!

I often hear people using language as a standard for morality, both in their own lives and those of others. I think people are afraid to be transparent and really connect with the character of other people, so we use something tangible and audible to measure our integrity: profanity. This is a grave mistake! It's unfair to write someone off simply because their vocabulary is more colorful than ours. That's taking the easy route- instead of getting to know somebody's heart, we simply take a surface reading based on their words. But it's as simple as this: if the language of our hearts isn't being transformed, we all might as well be saying "fuck you" at the end of every sentence.

I can think of people in my own life who would never be caught saying as much as "pee-pee" in public, but the words that do come out of their mouth are more venomous and despicable than the oaths uttered by a salty sailor any day. I believe it's because they got the wrong idea- as if we could change our hearts by altering our words, instead of the other way around. It's only when I allow Christ to transform my personality do I truly witness the outpouring of loving speech. And speech like that might even have a few "doo-doo's" and "shits" in it.

That's why it's so important to look at the heart, not just the mouth. Transparency is the road to communication, and when we stop being afraid of words and start examining why we say them, I think we'll all understand each other a lot better.

And by the way:
By saying all this, I'm not condoning reckless swearing and allowing children to let their mouths run amok. If your kid drops the f-bomb, smack them. Then explain: Words like that are like a verbal handgun or knife- they can be used as weapons, tools, or (carefully) for fun. However, if you don't know how to use them properly, you can really hurt somebody or get yourself in a lot of trouble. So do mommy and daddy a favor and don't call your teacher an asshole anymore.

I know, in a perfect world, right? What do I know. I don't have kids.

Jazz

It is a long time aspiration of mine to go to college to become a jazz piano player/commercial music guru. This is just something I want to do. Sometimes I am afraid that I'll be poor my whole life. Sometimes I feel pressure from the world, from my culture, from my father in law, that I should go the "easy" route and go with the grain, doing a job that makes me enough money to support me and my soon to be wife. And I understand that.

But at the same time, I think all of it is bullshit.

In our world, particularly American culture, happiness and success are equated with a significant income, a big screen TV, a house with a yard, 2 cars and 2.5 kids. And even though everybody looks at that as the ideal, nobody is satisfied with these things. Hence comes the cycle of accumulating more stuff, and then the inevitable problem of what to do with it when you're dead.

Don't get me wrong. I've accumulated a lot of great stuff, and I'm sure a lot of that is from dead people.

But in the process of life, as I collect more and more things to haul around with me through this life, I long for something simpler- a life where I can play piano. A life where I can serve others. A life where I can please my God through simplicity.

When Jesus said, "Sell everything you have and give it to the poor", my first reaction is:
If I do that, I'll be poor. Then I'll just be waiting around for somebody to make the same fool move I did, so I can get back on my feet.

But the more I think about it, I realize happiness and simplicity go hand in hand. That the most important things in life become the only important things in life when you eliminate the clutter and the noise and take a second to breathe. I think everybody knows this. I just get so caught up in the lie of accumulation that I forget where to look for real happiness.

So this is breath number one. Cool.

Violent Music

I've been saying for years that there are subliminal messages buried within Chris Martin's ever so sappy lyrics and Coldplay's ever so sappy music.

And now there's proof.

It would appear this woman just couldn't handle it any more and went ballistic. But who can blame her? "Yellow" sucks, and any jackass who would attempt to sing that in a karaoke bar DEFINITELY sucks. I really just hope this means Coldplay will be banned from karaoke bars.


Yeah? Well I'll "Fix You" too, motherf***er!

And if it wasn't enough that she went nuts in the bar, she attacked everyone else in the area, including an off-duy cop, who she "headbutted at least twice."

Seriously people. It's only a matter of time before somebody goes nuts because you're singing that God-awful "Chasing Cars" song by Snow Patrol and you get your ass shot. Stop listening before you're sucked into a world of violence that you can never escape from. Please.

HOT SUCKS.

I'm not sure if we're in the throes of climate change. I don't know if the world is melting, and giant, lightning-throwing killer tornadoes are just around the corner. I don't know if California is going to be underwater next year. For all I know, greenhouse gases are going to bring dinosaurs back to life and they'll kill us all by December. (Which would be an AWESOME way to die, by the way. But that's another blog.)

All I can say is this: If CO2, the internal combustion engine, SUV's and cow flatulence are whats making it 106 degrees in Augusta, GA this week, somebody really dropped the ball.

Because this weather sucks major ass-butt-hole-ness. It makes me want to lay naked under my celing fan, crying.

This was what I looked like yesterday.